No, but really. I’ve never heard a song by these kids. I couldn’t pick them out of a lineup. At least I kinda get 1D. These boys here? Nah.

So happy to hear that little douche was found. I thought his defense was b.s. when I first heard it and he deserved the book thrown at him. Mom is just as bad.

I fucking loved Debbie Gibson as a 7 year old, and I wore the perfume accordingly.

I had the Electric Youth set!

Look on the bright side! If you’re tanning your skin that often, you may not have to worry about getting leathery or old.

How do famous people get into relationships so quickly? I meet someone I can stand about once every five years.

Coooooool. Can we please go back to children of very, very minor celebrities and pop “stars” can fuck and take pictures at holiday parties and leave us the fuck out of it? The only reason I care is that I want to express how much I don’t fucking care! Where is David Foster Wallace when you need him?

I thought the headline said, “boring,” not “boning.” After I re-read it, I decided my first thought was definitely more apt.

I know I’m the minority, and will be told that I’m just envious and yadda yadda. But there’s a point where someone’s extreme conventional attractiveness sort of voids their appearance of being distinctly human. I can’t help but love imperfections (no, not sexy scarring or any bullshit like that) but real physical…

Long Live the 1992-95 music scene.

It doesn’t mean your old, it means you just listen to white people music.

“Animals” is far and away the fucking worst song in the world. Why?

Listen, I’m going to stop engaging here, because I don’t feel like people are being particularly logical about this.

Yeah tell me how much of a miracle he is when he spends his whole life suffering from medical complications and has to live with the fact that the reason he suffers is because his mom tried to kill him before he was born. Sometimes living isn’t living, it’s suffering.

I was just objecting to the notion the complications in this case are the same as the ones all preemies potentially face.

Now that he’s been born, he better attach some boot straps to that oxygen tank or he’s just a no good dirty moocher sucking down that sweet Medicaid money from the real Murrican taxpayers.

Considering how that crowd rolls, kid's gonna have to make due with prayers.

Tell us more about how Muslims want to enslave women, old white men.

He is 66...people get wrinkled. He seems like a major douchebag but that’s irrespective of his wrinkles for sure.

JUST SEVEN WEEKS AGO GUYS. Give me ANSWERS.