Every new paragraph starts off way that gives you the urge to import something illegally until you get to the "here's the problem" part and the urge goes away. Nice emotional roller coaster ride, this column and well written as always, Doug.

I think this is your best column yet. And very wise advice indeed.

Any game that has a breast slider and a breast bounciness slider should be given awards.

In my experience, from teaching courses at the college level, working in industry on teams others and working as a consultant (which includes jobs where I sometimes help companies find out why their code doesn't run in a timely manner), the biggest difference between a "programmer" and a "professional programmer" is…

so? it's still a Yakuza game. buy it and maybe Yakuza Zero will get a US release too.

I would buy the plate and put it on my ps4.

The Yakuza Zero Limited Edition PS4s will be out in Japan on March 12, with no indication of a Western release. If they do make it over here, hopefully we'll get a Yakuza game to play on it, too.

First come, first serve really isn't any better. It's an exercise in futility. Here's how it usually goes down.

I prefer my nutritional advice being backed by magic, myself.

I am still waiting for Harold and Kumar and Cheech and Chong. The universe will not be right until that movie is made. Why are they not doing it yet?!?!

these Dudes aprrove :

" Pumpkin spice is the name for a combination of spices used to make pumpkin taste horrible"

Say you, like many people, excitedly signed up for a recurring $4.99 a month payment to gain access to EA's new subscription service for the Xbox One, only to be underwhelmed by the meager early offerings.

Nintendo, you're doing multiplatform wrong.

Depends.

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CAPS OR SWEAR WORDS IN THE MOTHER FUCKING WORLD TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I FUCKING WANT YAKUZA 5 TO COME OUT TO THE FUCKING WEST. FUCK.

I still don't understand why split comparisons of two different aspects of a single image exist.

But I said that I usually end up enjoying the games. It still looks like a decent platformer, even though not living up to it's predecessors. I wouldn't buy a game just because I want to support Nintendo.

Seems a little silly to give it a "NO" when most of us don't have the luxury of having access to the original on 3DS. Yet another example of why this review system needs to die in a fire.