Pretty much any Volvo just screams Sweden.

This is neat. I’m picturing whoever wrote this maniacally changing markers every few minutes for no apparent reason.

“You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

Also an option: have your phone make some sort of normal phone noise, because you're an adult.

My name is Bartolo Colon, you ate my sandwich. Prepare to die.

Is there a reason A.J. Pierzynski made no effort to get back to the bag? Is there a reason A.J. Pierzynski was off the bag in the first place? Is there a reason that A.J. Pierzynski is still in the league?

I won’t disagree with most of your statements, but I take great offense to the jalapeño comment. Sitting in their own juice makes them far better, no question.

Bro be like

popular chain restaurant that rhymes with “Crapplebees.” (Editor’s Note: Oh for fuck’s sake)

There, I fixed it.

There’s a special place in hell reserved for you. (And also for me since my mind instantly knew what you were referring to)

Can’t unsee the unseen!!!

In the entirety of it’s racing career, it was only beaten once in an overland car race.

Thats because engineerss aren't good at dealing with customers. Look, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills. I am good with people. Why can't you people understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

At least they brought him up this year. Try being a Twins fan watching our top prospects grow gray hair and get injured in the minors. Goddammit.

That is exactly her angle and expression I picture when.. well nevermind its not important.

This is why I like Mercedes