there’s something so satisfying about seeing ted cruz look so, so dumb. i wonder if any of his aides tried to explain that antifa (without amending a particular city, region, or group) is incredibly amorphous. maybe his team is just as dumb as he. 

“there are no such thing as swing voters or moderate democrats, you centrist fascist. i only know radicals and socialists so this must be true!”—blest, probably

so he’s a know-it-all and kind of a loudmouth about it? you sure he isn’t the perfect for splinter?

how fucking stupid does lincoln think people are?

how, exactly, do you get rid of an entrenched political party? can you do it while remaining a (flawed) representative democracy? 

does anyone actually know/care whether or not de blasio really has the ability to fire pantaleo? it wouldn’t surprise me if there was some drawn-out process that prevents him from unilaterally firing the killer cop.

HamNo. Labor Agitator. Yogurtman. Fight Truther.

i think this is both a solid move (pointlessly gendered language is silly) and endlessly mockable.

i suspect that this attorney had totally run out of other options if this is the best they could come up with

i have total confidence that you’re well versed on the polling data from these states and absolutely know better than these governors.

were these ever funny?

i would imagine that, despite all of their performative problems with whiteness and the excesses of capitalism, most of the splinter staff lives in very gentrified areas. 

No, you fucking baby. 

This is exactly the kind of listicle that will keep you in the good graces of the G/O CEO! But seriously, if this was a response to what he wants per the daily beast article, solid response. 

completely unrelated (and very dumb): you’ve got a really identifiable style and i like to try and guess based on the headlines that i see in the drop down bar which articles are yours. i’m not batting 1.000 but i like to think i’d be in the running for mvp. 

i was prepared to be pissed about this lifehack, assuming it was just going to involve buying and returning books within their short return window while taking very good care of them.

I will never understand the attitude that thinking something through always means excusing, dismissing, or minimizing it (though it can certainly be used to do any of those things.) 

It definitely reminded me of trying to scramble to complete a college paper and just forcing a conclusion in order to turn something in on time. 

bro, you gotta check out this barstool website. no politics at all! its real funny, bro, and their boss is the coolest. he’s like a washed out alcoholic-looking dude who never grew up. he’s like peter pan and barstool is like neverland but with a lot more misogyny.

Hm, yeah, I see that. I think I just got thrown off by Cills’ reference to general information about Devins and her murderer being obviously unrelated. It seems weird to me to come down firmly and decide what information is or isn’t relevant just yet (minus the trash from 4chan and the information from commentators…