did you get an early start today or just wake up drunk and rambly? 

but what if i’m not inspired!1! /s

wow, that was delightful. thanks. 

could you pass that bong, friend? 

man, you’re a thin-skinned dick

am i the only one who thinks giant pub-style burgers (maybe there’s a better name for them? idk) are kinda dumb and pretty unpleasant to eat. i’d much rather have a double diner style burger if i want that much meat.

yikes. maybe grab a beer and log off. 

man, i don’t know why, but there’s something about the content of your post and your name that makes me think you’re not here to elevate the discourse 

i like that you have one of the better union contracts in the media world and the protection to do some serious reporting and, yet, you are a huge fan of these audience-jerking two word (or tweet) posts. glad you’re making the best of your opportunity!

did you say that kaep’s reaction might be a bit much?! please excuse me while i start a 25 tweet thread about why you are white supremacist

Was there an office contest to see who could come up with the dumbest title?

Hamilton “Hip-Hop University” Nolan does it again!!!!!!!!!1!

Do you think he gets a stiffy looking at those stickers?

reading this thread has inspired me to switch over to cash tips, exclusively. you’re welcome. 

Rikers. Next question. 

Rikers. Next question. 

I hear that Chance’s new record has preemptively received an 11/10 at Pitchfork, an A+++++++++ from the AV Club, and 50 stars Rolling Stone. Or else.

i’m getting a real stan vibe from you 

*narrator voice* no, she wouldn’t

And yet, he still managed to make your coworker look like a chump. Blogs forever!