There are no regrets in the perfect Splinter future!

Are GMG writers now required to drop the word “bootlicker” into every story? Like was it part of the union bargain?

that’s the best you could come up with?

This is getting meta.

LOL.

do you have a daily quota to meet before you can log off? 

“Now, whether this happens or not, can we just point out that it seems pretty fucked up that we live in a world where people will watch a TV show about new hate crimes happening every week? Murders are one thing, but wouldn’t it be nice for the people on TV to at least get to enjoy a universe that isn’t as miserable…

Your lack of self-awareness is impressive.

wait, the conspiracy theory researcher’s last name is Rothschild?

This was really fun. I really liked that you didn’t adopt a smug holier-than-thou attitude about your lack of fast food experience.

i like this comment so much i want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

I was dead wrong and am quite happy about it. 

you’re really proud of yourself here? you both come off as total douchebags. i know you’ll get a solid handy from the comment section but, damn, after reading this i don’t think you or bret have any reason to call yourselves journalists. 

you’re so brave. i really hope i can one day be as bold as

Can you guys just openly admit that you only like democracy when you get your way?

mmhm. I still think that community work and education is the best way to deal with a 12 year old writing this shit. If the kid was black and the police were called I would have additional concerns about how the police would treat him while he was in their custody (whether that meant a ride directly to his parents or a…

Self-love and self-esteem are overrated. For example: look at how highly all the idiots on social media regard themselves.

Would you like to speak with the manager?

It seems like this happened at a school playground so it wouldn’t surprise me if the school was obligated to get the police involved. 

And, if that’s how it all ends, that seems like a proportional response. Ideally, I would rather the see the police stay out of it (because of the risks of criminalizing a 12 year old’s ignorance and/or stupidity) but if they have to be involved that sounds like a reasonable way of handling the situation.