I haven't seen someone care that much about keeping something pure and white since I stopped getting the Ron Paul newsletter.

Gawker Media's cross-linking has attained sentience. All glory to the meganet.

As a resident of Wisconsin, I can validate everything Uwe said about those shifty, layabout Ohioans.

I just found my new gym song for eternity

This is a million times better than the last video Furhman teammates made with Rodney King

Unlike the Twins and Brewers origami at least turns into something somewhat functional when it repeatedly folds under minimal pressure.

That save was brought to you by David Luiz's right shin, Hawking-level physics, and Vidal Sassoon.

"C'mon, I'm at least mediocre."

"And yesterday, during Hernandez's arraignment, the prosecutor claimed that Hernandez became irate with Odin Lloyd two days before the murder because he had seen Lloyd at a club talking to a certain group of people."

ADAM AND EVE NOT AARON AND WHITE POWER BILL

Aaron Hernandez is so lucky, he gets charged with murder just in time for the SCOTUS decision that will allow him to marry whichever man ends up being his prison paramour

An animated gif of every time Kobe drove it through the hole? No one has time to edit that much Colorado security camera footage.

(Rovell is not returning calls)

Bomani Jones is legitimately one of the best people on television, regardless of genre or network. Every single dollar ESPN pays their sports pundits should be redirected to Bomani's bank account, and they should make Wilbon be his personal dick polisher.

I hope you're happy, Kinja. This is what you allow to happen. The asylum is being run by the humorless madmen.

Let's see how long you plan on living when I'm viciously pummeling your hawkish face whilst you impotently try to defend yourself with your matchstick arms. RUNNING IS FOR HORSES

BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT

Best 1-act play of the year.

Whichever CFL/Arena League team ends up signing Tebow, I'd wager.

Where is Craig James when you need him?