Goal scored by Discount Zlatan

I don’t know, it seems like maybe the reason she gave for not watching football is a more important issue for the sports yakkers to address than the effect not watching has on a morning show? Maybe?

Translation: We are giving your jobs new titles in order to pay the new people less.

The spirit of Tomsula lives on.

I made $5000 last week on periscope... all from the comfort of my home! Ask me how.

Hold my beer.

Only one person at the whole meet brought a tire gauge and, unbeknownst to everyone using it, it was off by 3 psi.

Quantum Mustangs attempting to occupy the same space at the same time.

because once they taste blood, they’re insatiable.

sir this is a mcdonald’s drive-thru.

My wife’s response on seeing the clip: “It’s cool, you guys just keep sucking at basketball, I’ll just play around you.”

That baby is an unholy mixture of Brady, Belichik and Kraft’s DNA implanted in a surrogate in an attempt to breed the Football Kwisatz Haderach.

It’s nice to see Michigan State really cracking down on the problems in their athletic department

Rumor has it there’s a $3,000 optional software package that actually avoids lower income areas when navigating with Google Maps.

This appears to be a classic case of Driving While Black.

5 bucks says Larry Bird is his favorite basketball player and pines for a time when basketball players were gentlemen (read: whiter).

SHE NEVER SAID YES

Cadillac made the Soviet T-34?

Things you may have forgotten about this awful year: the night before the special election to replace Montana’s representative to the House, who became the Secretary of the Interior (and has threatened a Senator’s state if they didn’t vote for the healthcare bill and also was likely involved in a tiny company from…

(Generally speaking, varying by state) Kidnapping is moving another person (asportation) + confining them in a place against their will. False imprisonment is confinement against a person’s will, without the asportation element.