Whenever I see Cortland Finnegan all I can think of is Andre Johnson throwing him around like a rag doll.

He's described as 5'5", with a mustache, driving a tan sedan, and is 100 percent convinced that Nick Foles is the next Aaron Rodgers.

We're talking about secondhand cock here, though

Probably the same idiot who designed women's jeans with redundant buttons and zippers.

Tell us the truth...did someone steal your ball when you were a kid?

I guess it's a good thing that no one has developed a way to refill tires with piano wire.

I thought the headline read The Charlotte Bobcats’ Top 10 Plays, Anointed and figured it was some weird ESPN Tebow/Bobcats crossover show.

The chance that you'll die alone, sad and miserable, with only a legacy of failure and disgrace to mark all the perfectly good oxygen you wasted?

What really made this story authentic was the fact that the picture was taken with real 1993-era technology.

Welcome to the worst comment on Gawker Media

An incredulous Meredith Vieira plans to devote an entire special on NBC Nightly News to the pervasive danger posed to these athletes by their leaders, be they coconut, almond, or even hazelnut in nature.

You still slept with her, right?

+ぜろ, uezama

After the Olympic final of 200 meters världsstjänan did it again.

Taylor, come live with me in a chair far down the boardroom table, within binocular-aided sight of the lap of luxury. Marry me.

That is a lot of hymen and hawing over her personal choices.

Is this the straw that finally breaks the Peaceful Coexistence Camel's back? I'd like to know because my hometown is at the top of Wisconsin and I'm going to need to pick side pretty damn quickly.

I hope it's worth it, that little celebration cost them their Chick-Fil-A sponsorship.

The RWA is also the only international sports body to implement a reverse-doping policy, banning anyone with a Vitamin D deficiency.