He’s the kind of guy you need to be careful around so you don’t ruin his bright future if he accidentally rapes you.

No.

you mean our new director of homeland security?

sorry for the bummer joke, i hope it’s only a joke

Not a woman but let’s celebrate the ouster of Sheriff Joe fucking Arpaio. FINALLY.

Why? Are you planning something?

It looks like the bigger issue was Rust Belt white working class male votes

But nonetheless it’s a true and valid criticism. And now as we sit here a few hours later, it appears to have been a part of why a meaningful enough number of voters to swing the election in Rust Belt states who voted for Obama in 2008 & 2012 voted for Trump in 2016, which aligns well with the same rejection of…

I never had a problem with the mountain peaks but the little chunks of nougat are guaranteed to stick in your teeth.

OMG Karl Rove was the Greatest Show on Earth that night. “What? Check those numbers again! I rigged Ohio myself! That can’t be right! Go do the math again!!”

I’m hoping Newt Gingrich will replicate his “YOU CAN’T EVEN CALL CLINTON A SEXUAL PREDATOR” meltdown. Because that was comedy gold.

I mean...it can’t be shade when it’s this blunt, right?

Still too sophisticated and wordy for the average Republican voter. Needs more Trumpisms.

That’s mighty Christian of him to send out that message.

Well, America WAS built on the hardy stock and tireless toil of persimmon farmers.

William Johnson? Really? Willy Johnson. He’s not just a dick. He’s a double dick.

When I asked Johnson, a corporate lawyer, why he referred to himself as a farmer, he replied:

“The worst case scenario is that we wind up a bit more like Russia.”? Well that’s a big relief!

And with a 58-year-old Breathless Mahoney who, surprise!, didn’t die and has cheekbone implants.

Who would play Tracy?