Where did Israel and Palestine get peace?

You have to do something when you know the worst words. Luckily he only knows a handful of them.

“Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!!”

Oh, so now you’ve gotta one-up me, is that it? I’m going to remember this. You’ll pay, ad infinitum, you’ll pay for this. And your little dog, too!

“Like I would ever. Psht.” - Donald Trump, pitching a tent

I still can’t belive that happened.

I got up and left the room so many times during my aunt’s birthday party I’m pretty much committed to staying the fuck away from that contingent of the family for the foreseeable future. Hey, I’m not the one who dropped a match in a drought-stricken forest of old growth redwoods.

Right, like The Queen is gonna let him marry someone who’s biracial. I’m sure biracial grandchildren are right at the top of her bucket list.

20 for the game, 25 for the goty edition on Xbone. Sold!

I would put serious money on her inauguration gown being white. One shouldered and flower applique optional — might be too on the nose.

That makes much more sense.

Plums. I believe they call them ‘plums’.

I can’t believe such a good* movie has spawned such an awful franchise of films.

EXACTLY IT WILL BE NICE TO FINALLY HAVE CLASSY PEOPLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE

I feel that. Like there is no shame in watching porn. But Trump seems to share details no one wants to know because he thinks it makes him look cooler. Also, he’s going to hold the highest office and his interview transcripts are just embarrassing.

My personal favorite scenario is 3. The Whatever From High Atop the Thing makes judgments based upon its own determination of worthiness, rather than where you where on Sunday mornings or what name you uttered when/if you prayed, so many fundamentalists of all religions will have their mouths hanging open when they…

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”