[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

Nice haircut, Alfalfa.

I literally will not watch this for 2 reasons:

1) because even reading the description made me cringe so fucking hard I barely made it through the article without NOPE-ing out of it, and

Because someone has to do it.

I care. So you’re wrong.

“absolute badass in the courtroom.”

That guy is extremely talented with a chainsaw.

But, with those white tarps laid out on the lawn, any Klansmen that showed up in full costume would just disappear. So, maybe it was well attended after all.

it is a Power Ranger. Bye I will see myself out

lol communication.

Honestly I don’t see what the white Sequoia did wrong; it appears to be stop and go traffic, it also appears there is a left exit or split coming up (watch till the end), the Sequoia signals to move into the lane, there was a white accord directly behind the Sequoia therefore if the Sequoia slows they’re slowing…

Houseplants make oxygen. They don’t use it.

buddy i have 30 liters of blood in me im never going to have a stroke

Are you having a stroke?

i have three times the normal blood of ah uman being i and two other wild eyed worked up deadspin commenters can take these bears on and still pay the blood tax

Back in my day glue was for 3 things. Stickin, eatin, and coverin your hand in it and peelin it back like you a snake losin yur skin, becomin a fresh snake and slitherin on the ground all serpent like.

or just done a sick kickflip and said forget it to his worries

Watching paint dry

I would’ve smashed that stick to bits just as an extra fuck you.

Dear sir, a crappy outdated piece of electronics has NOTHING to do with a Swiss watch. You can't compare this dumbphone stuffed with an outsourced OS with a self-winding chronograph that will function with nothing but steel and your own body's energy, survive 100m water dives and eventually being worn by your…