Play a sport that’s more popular than women’s soccer. 

I think I speak for everyone here when I say:

Where do you get your stats from? Breitbart.com? Do Americans know literally ANYTHING about Canada? You’re aware that there are countries other than the United States, right? Is it because your education system is a dumpster fire? There must be answers to these questions somewhere.

Calling me a Quebecois Frog is derogatory and should be flagged by Deadspin, honestly. Also, I’m not even French; anglos exist in Quebec, which means you’re as ignorant as you are racist.

It’ll be a horrible day when you infect us with all the gun nuts and anti-immigrant militias you’re carrying. Ugh, it makes me sick. 

At least in your 51st state, we have healthcare that covers everyone. Trump’s policies don’t affect us either. It’s good to live in the 51st state.

If you offered me Trump for Bieber and Drake, I would tell you to go bleep yourself, I’ll keep the two musicians. 

I don’t care about soccer or the United States, but I just want to mention we, as a proud country, have thousands of fewer gun-related deaths per year than the United States. Also, our leader is not Trump. This makes us better, and all opinions on this matter should he handled by Canadians, not hack US writers with…

UFC rules, NFL drools.

Philly is awful. You have a giant parking lot that is your sports stadiums. Your city center is ghetto and everywhere around that is plagued by crime. But...I guess you have Gritty?

I thought the GOP liked to kill forests just based on principle. 

There’s an entire subreddit dedicated to this: r/NobodyWinsTheThrone

This is like the dumb kid in school who’s bad at everything and tries way too hard to show he’s smart, only his feeble attempts make everyone realize how stupid he is, and he would look at least slightly smarter by just shutting up in class.

than*

I wanted to make this joke in the earlier article, but if he’s full of fiber, doesn’t that mean he’s likely to poop himself more? 

Why does it take a puck to the face to finally wear a full face shield? I’ve been hit with a puck playing with bonafide amateur bar league players and no, I do not wish to put my million dollar career in jeopardy, let alone the use of mouth. 

Crimin’ it! (for the Lebatard show crowd)

I actually make valid points about the Trump marketing team versus the Dems, with helpful advice for their party, AND THE RIGHT-WING TROLL MAKES IT OUT OF THE GREYS AND NOT ME?! 

Ahhhh it’s nice up here in socialist Canada where my sibling can have a tumor, my wife can give birth, and we can have kids in daycare who get sick ALL THE DAMN TIME, all with 0$ of debt towards any of it. I sometimes feel like I’m bathing champagne and getting high on my own happy fumes because of it. Silly…