Whatever, racist.

Repeated pummeling is not an even approaching reasonable force for retaliating against someone throwing pie in the face 

Not surprising. Because fuck a cat.

I stand chagrined, sir.

Lawyer humor.

Strong work.

Yes. Yes it is.

You’re missing the larger point and the real story:

What does Drew Magary smell like?

Feta, right?

I am a manager with a team of six reporting to me.

This is a highly technical, highly effective team that produces at a very high rate and delivers exponential value to my company.

I do absolutely nothing.

FTW!!!

The first verse was the song in its entirety when MY THIRD GRADE CLASS invented it in 1969.

Anything beyond that was created by those damn 80's and 90's kids and is nothing more than them attempting to gravy train on our creative brilliance.

NOW YOU KIDS GET OFFA MY DAMN LAWN!

While this may sound blasphemous, instead of mustard (including authentic German scharf senf) with your very thick German sausages (heh), try them with curry ketchup.

It will change your life.

You're welcome.

For the record, “better red than dead” is a far more effective international policy summation than it is a dating criteria.

Besides...Red Roolz.

In my best New York accent, it was yoomer, ASeed.

Was visiting my family. And I don’t gamble.

But still fuck Las Vegas. Because desert.

I just spent a week in Las Vegas.

Fuck Las Vegas.

And I want my money back.

I just spent a week in Las Vegas.

Fuck Las Vegas.

And I want my money back.

Your handbasket is ready, sir.

For those pointing out that Drew kind of mentioned Hot Dog buns, two things:
1. Yes...I missed that, and
b. It was more a commentary on the ongoing battle between the two factions in the “Is a Hot Dog a sandwich”* wars.






* Yes. Yes it is a sandwich.

You forgot Hot Dog buns.

Simple list, really.

1. Calvin and Hobbes
2. Everything else is foot goo.