LOCK ANCHOWERESQUE UP!

Y’all do realize a human being died, right? I mean, where is your soul?!?

Oh, wait...this is Deadspin.

Carry on.

Drew Magary was born in Kenya.

Wasn’t the Groin Era after the Classical Antiquity era but before the Crotchal era?

All change is bad.

"Don’t Mess With Texas?"

How about “Don’t Fuck With Florida.”

JFK

I sent almost the exact same letter — nearly word-for-word — to Jezebel when I resigned from here.

Poor Ygritte. You know that had to just break her heart...

Buncha Yankee cowards. Lizards like this just keep the skeeters at bay.

You really haven't lived until you've shat yourself just a mite when one of these fuckers crawls up outta the primordial ooze during your backswing.

Y’all are missing the broader point.

One of the saddest stories ever.

An a-hole or a pervert? What if you’re both?

Close all Gawker media outlets. We have a winner.

Now, I’m not saying it was, and I’m not saying it wasn’t, but didn’t the Dolphins benefit considerably from Tunsil falling to them at 13?

Now, I’m not saying it was, and I’m not saying it wasn’t, but didn’t the Dolphins benefit considerably from Tunsil falling to them at 13?

JACK DEL RIO ISN’T ON THE HOT-SEAT LIST!!!

The Silver and Black is back, bitches!

It's like Drew lives in my head...

I guess this means “Jezebel” is the answer to that age old question, “Hey, where are the white women at?”

Byte thy tongue, blasphemer.

MotherOfDragons4Evah