Not 9:

I believe the technical golf term for what he did on 12 is “shat the bed.”

WOOHOO! We finished ahead of Getting Hit by a Car!

Barely. As is fitting.

But no Asheville, NC? You're high, Redford. So, so very high.

How is this even possible? She’s not even black?

I'm cold...somebody hold me...

...she smiled because I did not understand...

Nothing says “good times” like this story.

I assume, then, that this means no breast pics? Normally on Friday we get pictures of breasts. Granted, they're Magary's but still...

If I had a nickel for every time surgery for the posterior labral tear of the left shoulder wasn’t necessary...

What you’ve got to do to Albert is, you cut the hamstring on the back of his leg, right at the bottom. He’ll never play basketball again, because he goes back, his weight displacement goes back, and he stays there.

Damon’s wife was turning around to share her Tagalongs but Damon knows the code:

He did.

“Amber never stick no fingers in my ass.” [Emphasis added]

Would You Fuck a Goat for Your True Love?

It’s official: the Jezzies have run out of material.

Sadly, it only takes one team.

Correlation is not causation.

It’s good to see Jason Whitlock is back to doing serious journalism...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

No Funbag? It’s like there’s nothing worth believing in anymore...

Aren’t we all, my friend.