ummm..... what does it say about me that I think he made a lot of sense.

Ronaldo looks like me at Thanksgiving when my Uncle is doing a racist

If the Fins are rebuilding, how does it benefit them to spend draft/young players capital to trade for Clowney when there’s a chance he could clown them (I’m so sorry) by leaving after a year? Just a worthwhile risk because of his talent?

Slavia Prague’s owner’s reaction to drawing that group of death is how we should all deal with life everyday:

We can, and we did. Fuck you forever, Hitchbot.

And it’s not like the fans can just up and murder a robot.

+1

I cannot WAIT to see the Dead Letters for this one.

That’s gotta Sting.

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

I once had to ice my knee and take off a day of work because I tried to get a playing card from under a table with my foot.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

Sir, this is an Arby's

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

My three year old was asking me about sports team mascots recently and mentioned elephants and I said, “No, there’s not elephant teams.” And like 4 questions later I remembered the A’s and was like, “WAIT. LET’S GO BACK TO THE ELEPHANT THING.”

I have no take on the trials, their outcome, or the payouts.

As it turns out, the camera operator was Markelle Fultz.

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?

Tired of all these primadonnas complaining about not getting to play with what they want. Well boohoo snowflake, there are millions of people who would gladly take your place and play for nothing. What happened to being a MAN and playing football in nothing but a leather shell? That’s real FOOTBALL. You go out there…