Oh, no!
I was wrong!
It was entitlements all along!
You'll finally make a Republican out of me!

Paul Ryan's pick-up line: "Hey, baby, wanna kill all humans?"

Also, watching what was once The Learning Channel now makes you dumber.

*Mario has sex with and then murders a prostitute*
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

We work hard; We play hard.
🎵Everybody dance now!🎵

Roger Deakins' Oatmeal: The Movie. Starring Wilford Brimley.

They really should just say that the movie has a Hemsworth in it without specifying which one. That's really all the information anyone needs.

What? Did they figure out how to make that movie even longer?

In the next episode Steve Urkel turns Carl into a sandwich and accidentally eats him? C'mon!

He could time travel, he once turned himself and Carl into Bruce Lee, he built a robot, and could travel to space. You could kind of claim that anything happened in this show and I'd believe it.

He's shot Steve who only had a toy ray gun. But, it looked real enough.

Bill Simmons has seen two shows, Arli$$ and The Wire. One is the best and one is the worst.

I tuned in once while I was a teenager and saw some boobs and fairly graphic sex. Arli$$ gets one thumb up from me*.

In the final episode Urkel unleashed a pathogen on earth that would kill all human males that weren't secure in his specially designed "Urkel Cage." Upon emerging from his cage, and being the only man alive, he finally had Laura all to himself under the guise of "repopulating the species." The show really took a…

I've fallen and I can't get up!
Whoa, Mama!
Did I do that?
Look what you did.

Taco Bell exclusive scent: Beta Male Blast.

Speed Stick, "By Meninist!"

Bodies* of work.

I think that Eminem is technically a great rapper. But, his albums have aged poorly. I cringed when I tried revisiting his early output. He's good, but I can't say that I really love any of his stuff.

Edan would probably be in the conversation if he'd had more output. I certainly think that he's terrific. But, El-p has been far more consistent and prolific. Eminem has obvious skill, but I don't think of his work as great