My mom got me one for Christmas when i was 14 or so. It had an anthropomorphized dog dressed as a cowboy walking into a saloon with his upper extremity bandaged. The caption read, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw." I never wore that shirt.

She may be a centuries old hag that only births smoke assassin babies, but I'd still date her.

Abraharambe Lincoln.

The A.V. Club

Yet, Count Lochtula remains a part of a balanced breakfast for many Brazilians.

Russell Crowe beating the hell out of Danny Devito is an oddly soothing experience.

Urge to snark fading…fading…fading…RISING! Fading…fading….gone.

My parents had MTV locked under parental control when I was a kid. My brother and I discovered the password around the time that "Monkey Wrench" was first airing. Pat Smear playing the guitar fast while wearing black leather gloves will never not be cool to me.

Generic White Guys: The A.V. Club Story.

I remember the night I went to see this. My friend with a Hyundai Scoupe insisted on driving and he was so excited to see this movie that he further insisted on parking right in front of the box office. He backed into his spot while unnecessarily revving the engine of this obviously not very fast car while bumping…

P.S. I'm Dead, but I Heartily Endorse My Widowed Husband as a Potential Romantic Partner.

Seven Dates

It'll be worth it once Avatar 6 reveals that the entire Avatar universe took place completely inside James Cameron's own ass.

How could a man with such obviously large hands be insecure about anything?

Yeah, well, Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter.

That sounds like something that God would have said just before smiting someone with hideous boils for the mortal sin of enjoying a fast food fish sandwich.

Carl's Catch™ Fish Sandwich from Carl's Jr. is better than any of these.

Well, I've been pissing on The Pope all these years. I guess I've been doing it all wrong.

It's pretty much all our fault that he's President. If we'd have let him just be a movie star this all would have been over by the time he got his Oscar® win for the remake of Hard Days Night starring Trump as all four Beatles.

Do you think he noticed?