Who'd have guessed that it takes place in Louisiana?

Well, la di da, Mr. French Man.

A friend bought me Oreos with Swedish Fish flavored cream. It was a weird combo to say the least. I didn't really mind them so much. But, my mom was so disgusted that she spit a chewed up cookie right into her soda.

Chipped Buscemi on toast makes for a mighty fine breakfast.

The innocent doofus routine buys him little sympathy in my eyes.

I saw someone with a bumper sticker that had a picture of George W. Bush with the quote, "Miss me yet?" I'm pretty sure that the driver of this car is an insane person.

Mission Impossible 6: Miscavige of Justice

I like my bacon slightly undercooked. It leaves the meat chewy and keeps more of the fat on the meat for more flavor. I don't understand those crispy bacon lovers. It loses flavor and breaks into pieces when you eat it.

Don't forget The Fad Three.

I really like The Beatles, but I'm finding it difficult to get excited about this boomerfied nostalgia wank of a film.

We tried that, but one time the sheet fell down and I saw a nipple. I've since gouged out my eyes so that the sex will return to its natural state of purposefull procreation only.

I get all my sex advice from Rick Santorum. That's why I make love once per year and it's as quiet and refreshing as a cool spring breeze. And, I never look my lover in the face. That just encites lust.

…

"Oops!…I did it Again" should have played after every Chick Knoblauch error. That would have really irked that prick.

Hahahah! What a story, Emeril! So, anyway, how's your sex life?

Your grandparents' couch is no better than Colin Kaepernick. I knew it was a secret Muslim! Can't even wake up for 9/11! I agree with the couch's right to free speech, but I don't agree with its methods!

That's life in Humptown, USA. Nary a watering hole to be found. Camels rule the roost. It's a lot like Evening Shade, but if Burt Reynolds and Ossie Davis were camels.

But that was in nineteen dickety two. Back then we had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty".

Celebrity couple name: Brarbb

It's nothing but a pile of Goop.