Orko, Henry! is my favorite candy bar if I can't find myself a Whatchamajigger.

They really love it when I start to shove Chalupas™ into the filter. Ohhh, fish!

If you were in a movie with Howie Mandel and Fred Savage you'd tear your own face off too, goddammit!

My fish love when I sprinkle Doritos into their bowl. Then they die. Then my new fish love when I sprinkle Doritos into their bowl.

Netflix

You guessed it, Frank Savage.

Alien Jesus would be into extra holes in one's body.

Nothing like a giant fuck machine to get a couple in the mood.

So, Josh Gad's mom won't be the only one who wants to hear his voice in that warm analog sound?

Please see Dailystrokingmotion for all your nudity needs.

It looks like the whole thing is on Dailymotion. Enjoy!

I also like to play The Room games. Particularly, I like to hump all of my ex-girlfriend's dresses once they've moved on to handsomer better bearded suitors.

That's also the title of the pamphlet my father handed me when he discovered my internet browsing history.

Stop the Curb Your Enthusiasm. I Want to Get Off!

You know you're in dire straits when Ashton Kutcher doesn't return your calls.

Wait, have we all been Punk'd?

It was probably the best use of his talents that any movie could muster. It's easy to forget that with this and Kingpin that the Farrely brothers were at one point quite good.

Dumb and Dumber was the high water mark of comedy for 12 year old me. It's been 15 years since I've seen it, but speed bag ball punching and turbolax shit taking were the be all end all of comedy for a young impressionable boy such as myself.

Hey, cool! This raw sewage leaks into that playground! Git 'er Done™, kids! Try Prilosec OTC!

Before I die, I'm gonna fuck me a fish.