Of course he wants lime! They might taste the drugs otherwise.

*eats an Italian beef sandwich with Silvio before sitting down to a full dinner with the family. Follows it up with a huge bowl of ice cream to enjoy while watching Gary Cooper movies*
I should have been a mobster.

"My finger slowly slides to the left click button of the mouse. I'm hovering over the up vote arrow. Hovering, so close. I can't stand being this close to that tasty arrow. It's almost too much for me to handle."
-Future Xanderpuss, probably.

Not after she saved you from nearly drinking that beaker of acid you don't.

Crickets are green, man.

He should have cut to the chase and bought a pack of Magnum condoms for his monster dong with his wad of hundreds.

Welcome to hell ahahahahahahaha!

"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan with the black beard and blonde mustache will always be my favorite heel turn.

Spanakopita!

I'm not falling for that again!

*Buys 90k in Powerball quickpicks*

Entourage doesn't do meta. If this were in Entourage Vince would do the movie and get an Oscar. Turtle would become a billionaire by selling, I don't know, shoes or something to Marc Cuban. E would inexplicably lay, like, three hot ladies. And Drama would get cut out of the movie but get Executive Producer credits or…

I was never pretending. That's the best part of the massage!

I haven't seen the show. Did they give instructions on how to date Natalie Dormer pig? Is there slop involved? The one thing that I have is a lot of slop.

God sounds like someone I'd block on Facebook.

My parents really discouraged secular media growing up, but encouraged avid Bible reading. There's so much weird sex and violence going on in the Bible that if it were broadcast on television under a different moniker there is no way my parents would have allowed me to view it.

That's a great approach to take to film watching. Hopefully you've stayed away from watching all movies ever.

There is this show - Turn, Turn, Turn
Another season - Turn, Turn, Turn

That's the only way to talk about Dan Ackroyd.

And they come with their own dildo so no man is even required.