Oh, yes. The law offices of Bombay, Hendricks, and Beefeater. They are quite powerful.

Jiminy jillikers will replace Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker as John McClane's catchphrase.

That's why my mom is family arm wrestling champ.

Single Female Sports Reporter Having Lots of Sex.

It's all his blubbering.

As long as I don't get hit on by any pregnants.

I would also like to know how well they'd hold up if I were, say, humping them while crying before killing myself.

I was already putting whisky in my cereal. His book just reinforces the idea that whisky for breakfast is a great way to get fit.

From what I've learned watching movies the porno theater was also a great place to go on a first date.

Tell me about it. I was arrested and accused of stalking her just because I climbed her back fence and squeezed through a doggie door to return a candy wrapper she had dropped.

Those belt buckles have saved countless people from being stabbed by Ben Carson.

At this point we've really Ran this into the ground.

Yo, Jimbo!

This boycott is incredibly wrong headed. Its sole purpose is to steer the conversation away from the the original intent of the protests.

*cancels trip to Amazon store*

Pee stained pants in the main ingredient in your standard Bitches Brew.

*Checks pants*
Nope, still just semen stained.

"I'd need to not be tweaking to not handle all those kids" does not sound like something that Jared would say.

You must have an interesting diet.

You probably shouldn't have changed your shoes every time you walked into a room.