I'll accept that!

I'm not welcomed into Whole Foods any longer. I've learned that Free Range doesn't mean "without pants".

I thought that was just the air conditioning unit whispering "All Eyez on Me" this whole time!

I like to think that her ass is real. I'd like to keep my masturbation organic.

Maybe she did. I haven't seen hologram Tupac for ages.

I probably shouldn't have this drink he just handed me then.

The engine smoke would smell suspiciously of Grape Swisher Sweet.

[Chet Haze drags your lifeless body to the surface and resuscitates you with his life saving lyrics. Your barely cognizant body hurls itself back into the deep for one more dance with fate.]

Starring Olympia Dukakis!

In his mind he's just "mopping up" the accolades. He climbed over the entire janitorial staff, stepping on faces and shoulders, to receive his lifetime achievement award for excellence in the custodial arts.

Roberto Benigni would like to thank the academy.

To be fair, a muumuu is pretty much the only choice for those of volcanic proportion. At least it was season appropriate.

He's full of folksy wisdom!

He did. But, what happens in the bedroom is between Mr. Hanks and Rita Wilson…

The passengers will use Chet Haze's ego as a flotation device.

It's all those selfless jumps over piles of 300 pound men while landing on his head for the good of his team that has a committee of glass men as their running back squad. Karma hates that and Subway commercials most of all.

She seems too earnest. Cam needs that tough love that only a cigar smoking Nazi sympathizer can provide.

Maybe Cam Newton needs to find a magical rich white lady to inspire him to greatness. Is Marge Schott still alive?

Just the tip.

So, Jack Nicholson has floating green balls and farts powerful enough to power a hot tub? It's no wonder he's such a ladies man!