Keep in mind we’re talking about a small can that’s got a bright white label, the universal symbol for flammable, and the words FLAMMABLE in red. Also, I sealed it (To this day I’m not sure how the kid got the lid off; we’re talking about a container not unlike a paint can, and I made sure it was sealed tightly) and…

Dangit. Are Kylie Jenner photos the new “The Dress”?

I think it’s because of the lips but I think that has to do more with the person seeing the pic and thinking big lips = black, which in a way seems kind of racist? Honestly, it’s not blackface. Black people aren’t shiny metallic like that, so people need to get off their high horse.

I don’t remember black people being so shiny and vapid.

Also, there was a dark time in my life a few years back and I made this picture in MS Paint. It was one of many in an album entitled "Me and My Friends". I hate myself.

Cinderella could be Asian, since the story has some strong roots in China, but you will NEVER see it.

People always focus on women getting plastic surgery but ignore it when men do it. And yeah, it's pretty obvious Pelosi's had some work done but I want to know how it's possible that the world simply chose to ignore the fact that John Kerry bought himself a new face. I mean, at the very least, he got a face lift,…

Lindsy Graham is so classless he could be a Marxist utopia.

As my grandfather would say, Lindsey Graham is so dumb he couldn't pour piss from a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!

very meta. i like it.

I invited a guy in college back to my dorm room to watch dumb youtube videos. Since I didn't have a couch we sat on my bed. It wasn't tough to make the leap from there.

This could probably also qualify me for last week's "weirdest thing I've done as a kid" but I also consider it the greatest pick-up move I've ever attempted because as you'll read, it was highly successful.
It was the summertime and 14-year-old me was on a bus packed full of teenagers headed to an outreach event.…

Also, one time I got a guy to go home with me by saying we could make a sleeping fort. We did, which he promptly passed out in.

I sat on a cute guy's lap while waiting for my turn in a high school talent competition.

I went straight for the kill, which is something that is totally out of character for me. Typically, I'll wait years for someone to notice me, but a few years ago I had enough. While out at a bar with a friend on a particularly quiet night, the cold air blew in the object of my affection. We knew each other, but he…

Sadly, all my attempts completely failed. I tried snuggling closer when watching movies, touching my hair like lady mags tell you to do, mentioning I'd be up for it, telling dudes I thought they were hot...nothing.

It was a glorious summer day in drawing class so we all went out to the historical cemetery on campus to sketch. I was wearing a red sundress and I decided that I really wanted to get the attention of this one guy I'd been checking out all term.

This reminds me of parents who give middle names to their sons but not their daughters "because that way she can make her LAST name her MIDDLE name when she gets married!"

Yuck. My mother was obsessing about my marriage prospects when I was about 6. Not good. Don't do this.

At least we can all agree that these are white dresses.