What does it say about my perception of German porn that I misread the headline as "German Porn Viewers Outed Because Judges Don't Understand Screaming"?

I used to think that my worst nightmare was having my Google search history published. I stand corrected.

Anything but the gays, eh, Utah?

And soon I'll be able to marry multiple pets! Very useful when you're in love with tropical fish.

Yeah, I have no problem with this. If its therapeutic, go for it. Make some money out of your misery, Lindz - your parents sure have.

Apparently, several publishers are really interested in a book project Lindz started working on in rehab — a YA series about a young paleontologist who finds a portal in the Natural History Museum that takes her back to a land before time, where she befriends several lost juvenile dinosaurs and shows them how to make…

Did anyone else misunderstand "Justin Bieber's House for Unconscious Women" at first pass? I thought it was a "Ms Poppentopp's School for Exceptionally Naughty Children" situation.

You know how "everyone" feels like Jennifer Lawrence is their coolest friend ever? I kinda feel that way about you, Burt. You're the best.

*melt*

I reached out to a couple of others, and one responded with a gif of Homer Simpson slowly backing into a bush.

That's what I always thought, but then:

I thought that "moves like Jagger" lyric was "moose vagina" for MONTHS.

I'm imagining that transaction going down, seriously. "Good day, kind sir! I am hoping to procure a tin of your finest Skoal, a can of Cheez-Wiz, and oh, would you happen to have the latest issue of Girls and Corpses? Ah, wonderful! Surely I will be the envy of the hunting club today!"

Yeah, my boyfriend and I are really well suited... except he is suuuuuucccchhh a nerrrrrrd.

I'm thinking that subscribers to Girls & Corpses Magazine are to be avoided.

It takes 8 testicles to counteract the power of a single vulva, just FYI.

What does it say about the tech savvy of the delegates that, in 2011, they didn't think twice about clicking a "see nude pics of" email?

Log cabin republican!