The "technical issue" is that people might be reminded that the Simpsons was once the funniest and best-written show on TV instead of the sad old parody of itself it's become. Can't blame them really.

So exciting to see GT's own Burt writing a dirt bag! I knew you before you were famous, so when you get super famous I can be the source or "old friend" who gives weird quotes to tabloids. YES!!!

Could be worse...

the spice must flow

I cannot overstate how badly I wish this article was written by The Onion's Jean Teasdale.

Wait, Kerry Washington was in that godawful Fantastic Four movie? I must've blocked the memory of any actors or actresses I liked being involved with it. Kind of funny that if I ran up to her and started gushing about being a fan she would've guessed that as the reason and not Ray or Scandal or my schoolboy crush on…

Let's hope lesbian fans don't recognize her from "She Hate Me," because that was one of the worst, most offensive representations of lesbians ever put on film (and I've seen Gigli).

I HATE HATE HATE the phrase "sending love and light." How does one send light? This is how I imagine it:

Once again my heart rejoices that I am old, married, and taking Pagliacci pizza orders as usual this Halloween. Having to deal with these fucknuggets on the phone is bad enough.

THIS MEANS IM EXCITED

"Hey, baby. You know they say the Captain always goes down with the ship. Get it? Goes down? As in oral sex? No, seriously, head for the lifeboats. We are in some pretty immediate danger here."

Much as I love John Sim, that is all kinds of terrifying.

You say "cocaine-fueled Vegas party" and somewhere Terry Richardson is dropping his pants. He doesn't immediately know why, but in his lizard brain knows someone has spoken his language.

Psh. That's not a catfish vagina scene.

I am confused. I thought he was talking about the film Catfish. So I was thinking that is that not her vagina? Is it's someone else's vagina and Diaz's vagina lied to you on the internet. Then Reiner met the real vagina on the car and it wasn't the vag he fell in love with on the internet. I'm so confused right now.…

I actually would prefer those were the people who DIDN'T go into politics, personally.

Kate Bush is laughing somewhere...Probably on that cool hill she lives on.