She always sounds so fucking radged about everything. I remember when she first came out and I never heard of anyone having a problem with it, or criticising her, and yet all her comments were along the lines of "YES I LIKE MEN AND WOMEN GET OVER IT OK STOP HASSLING ME". Now she's gone back in the closet in every…

Their relationship must be like the YA version of Siddhartha and Govinda.

These are people who think Michelle Obama's healthy eating campaigns are an attempt to force Americans to eat only vegetables. They are fucking morons.

To paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out!"

If you asked someone in an abusive relationship whether their partner loved them, they might well say "Yes, he's such a wonderful man, he only gets angry because he loves me." No sensible feminist would attack them for staying in that relationship, and yet there is a certain type of feminist who sees no contradiction…

So I followed two of your links. One of them was a dead link to Vimeo, and one of them was to an Amazon page for a work of fiction.

You sound like you're blaming her for all that.

The fact that one of his directorial efforts is called "happythankyoumoreplease" - all one word, all lower case - is absolutely everything you need to know about him.

If Gervais's writing for strong women is the same as his writing for kind disabled people, I'm betting season two of Derek will involve a lot of standing around talking about how strong women are important and no actual women doing anything strong whatsoever. God, that show is wretched.

That's the elephant's trunk in the room, isn't it? Porn - which even our resident troll admits is watched heavily by straight men - is awash with dongs. Massive, hard ones, right in centre frame, sometimes without their owner's faces even appearing in shot - everything that would supposedly cause a straight male…

By all means, let's talk about the real menace here; tattoos.

So let's take this another way.

This is just going to be another of those Three Men and a Baby things, where it turns out to be a cardboard cut-out from a deleted scene that got stuck in the curtains.

I always wonder how the fashion industry gets away with shit like this. I remember hearing an interview with Lily Cole once where she said a 'talent scout' approached her outside a KFC when she was 14 and said she should be a model. I thought, they've got a guy whose job it is to go around asking random 14-year-old…

She was rocking a kind of a young Lily Tomlin thing in The Wolf of Wall Street, which I thought was cool.

So in other words he admitted Richardson sexually harasses models, he just doesn't think he gets away with it. Well, that's a ringing character endorsement if ever I heard one.

He looks like he's about to start lowing, like a cow.

Every Lars von Trier movie becomes a comedy when his insecure, reputation-obsessed fans hear someone making fun of it. "It was TOTALLY a SATIRE? Don't you GET SATIRE?" Then the bad person walks away, and they go back to talking about how serious and profound it was.

Looking at the above review, I can't imagine critics would praise a movie that actually contains the line "If you have wings, why not fly" if they weren't intimidated by von Trier's reputation.

What truths would you say his films highlight? I've seen a few and haven't found a single authentic, intelligent, believable moment yet.