It's so weird. I mean, "privileged" is the nicest, cuddliest euphemism for "bigoted" possible, and yet people still throw their toys out of the pram if they even think it's being applied to them.

I love that optimistic "volume 1".

Just one strong breeze away from Jedward.

Right. OK.

1) He didn't die 'for' street racing.

He didn't die as a result of street racing. You are aware that the Fast & Furious movies are not a fly-on-the-wall documentary following Paul Walker round in his everyday life, right?

Russell Brand and Kanye West in one Dirt Bag? Was there a Buy One, Get One Free sale on horrible, woman-hating bastards who we're inexplicably not allowed to dislike?

Like a lot of reasonably well-off people, he plays the hardscrabble child of poverty card so often to get people on his side that he's probably started believing it.

He also writes songs like 'New Slaves' while collaborating with Middle Eastern slave labour regimes and selling Confederate merchandise. And hijacked 'Strange Fruit' for a song about how bitches don't like you unless you've got money and that's just like lynching. Oh, but as the plot of the above-linked film…

That's a great point. Jews also do not tend to have ties that give them access to the Rothschild's billions.

Yes. Fuck. This. I'm so tired of the way Kanye frames every single debate - whether about money, class, race, success, fashion, culture, technology, anything - in the most myopic, materialistic, misogynistic way possible, and we're all supposed to stand up and cheer for him because, well, he's a genius, isn't he? …

Not a gif, but I couldn't resist:

I wish people would learn that satire has to be, you know, exaggerated. Putting up a site of completely mundane, plausible-sounding news and laughing when other people repeat it proves absolutely nothing other than the massive newsflash of "Most people don't have time to run a deep background check on every website…

Oh man, when I was about seven I used to walk around loudly singing along to 'Sexuality' by Billy Bragg. Worth Googling the lyrics to that, just in case you want to know just how traumatised my parents were.

I went looking for a picture to commemorate this happy event and this was the only one that could capture the emotion:

Ha! Nobody knows, it's like the Toynbee Tiles of Jezebel. I took a look at her site and it included such vital evidence as Marc Jacobs having a model pose by a newsstand... a pose the site owner had invented two years earlier! SUSPICIOUS.

Whereas PETA, of course, aren't cool with having pets but have no problem slaughtering countless animals.

Kanye would probably give me some amusing anecdotes. And I don't like his music as much as I like Morrissey's, so it wouldn't be the painful disappointment that comes with learning someone you grew up loving is this much of a prick.

One thing I've learned from skimming Morrissey's autobiography is that everything he says - every single thing he says - could be one of his lyrics. Seriously, imagine him keening "And Obama laaaaaaughs..." over a 'November Spawned a Monster'-style melodramatic soundscape. It fits so beautifully.

Seriously, though, the point he was actually making wasn't even as good as that.