In my experience, they tend to talk very reverently of Lincoln and the Abolitionists until you ask them whether they were right to start the Civil War. Suddenly, hemming and hawing reigns.

As crazy as 1D fans can get, I've never heard of them causing multiple actually bodily harm cases and widespread damage to a city after, say, they lose a music award. I've never heard of them being infiltrated by neo-Nazis and hurling racial abuse at rival boy bands. Soccer fans can't say that, and yet that remains…

You know, I didn't for ages, until I saw his reaction to Miley's performance at the VMAs. Check out the gif where they're sat behind Rihanna; he's just chewing with a wonderfully sneery, contemptuous look on his face, and it's wonderful.

So they're both perfect for the roles, is what you're saying?

I hated the books with a passion, but a lot of the opprobrium they receive on the internet does fall into a pattern where anything which isn't aimed at white teenage boys will be the worst thing ever, and anyone who likes it is brainwashed by major corporations into liking stupid mainstream shit (unlike…

Batman fans are the funniest for this, because they never, ever, ever remember when they've been wrong in the past. I remember when everyone was freaking out over Anne Hathaway being picked as Catwoman, and I was just sitting back thinking "Does anyone remember when we were all saying this about Heath Ledger? How…

Oh god, even the intro is perfect. I love, love, love, love, love this woman.

Somewhere, Hugo Schwyzer is kicking himself for not thinking of this first.

I love Cookie Monster too, particularly in his singing career under the pseudonym "Tom Waits".

I interpreted the article as being more of a mockery of the thinness of this theory, myself. One undescended testicle leads to a lifetime of reclusiveness? Okay dokes.

That's such an amazing humblebrag. "I've often felt I was a bad singer - which is crazy, considering the huge number of records that I've sold, a statistic which I will now unironically relay to you."

I feel envious of Big Sean, being unaware of Donald Trump like that.

Child me who used to collect Monster in My Pocket enjoyed the Claire Danes-Baba Yaga joke, Lindy.

I thought this too! I would also agree that it is a good idea not to tell your stories to Riff-Raff, because he will repost them on Twitter WHiLE TYPiNG THEM LiKE THiS.

So who went straight over to Wonkette as soon as they read this? They've been kicking "America's worst columnist Clownfarts McOld" for years now, and they did not disappoint.

Of course, she'd have bedded him in a second if it wasn't for the wily machinations of Daniel Craig.

What do you mean? Those things are rill! They're rilly rill!

Look up the Wikipedia article on "wedge strategy" - this is a document leaked from the Discovery Institute that talks about ID as a trojan horse created for the purpose of pushing Creationism into schools.

If so, he's in the right extended family!

I just assumed she'd been born in a weird experiment to splice the genes of Dakota Fanning and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I'm still actually convinced this might be the case.