“That’s some good Kinja Lou.”

Hey those people could have husbanded their own animals if they wanted to fuck them!

Rhoda from The Bad Seed.

“is the full destruction and elimination of the entire mainstream media....We envision a day when the New York Times closes its doors.”

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

My main concern is does Jay Cutler run as crisp a route or come with as great a catch radius as the Dolphins’ regular starting quarterback?

Around the house is fine, but with a suit... come on. At least pretend you’re an adult.

I beg your pardon, sir. There simply is no feeling quite like a fresh under armor shirt on your nipples. Sometimes when I’m feeling blue I’ll fashion them as diapers under my work pants. Their clothes are extremely versatile and delightfully gratifying, and I’m just not going to stand here and let you slander them.

The best thing to say is, “I’d love hear a funny story about them.”

Indeed! Sometimes ego gets the job done, though.

“Some of y’all can count TO TEN?!”

Thank goodness they’re leaving the emblems on the trail markers alone

You Don’t Have to Be a Fucking Stooge

“Science advances one funeral at a time.” - Max Planck

Whoops, he became Oscar the Grouch.

The NBA is going to paint itself into a corner here. I’m positive Magic Johnson said the same thing watching last night’s game.

Interviewer: Would you like to punch LaVar Ball in the head? If so, what part?

Look, no dog anymore...Trump gave him a new pet,