General life tip: If you can’t wink without strange contortions involving your mouth, don’t even try. If you know winking will be called for ahead of time, practice in front of a mirror so you can do it without moving your mouth. It’s not hard, it’s just blinking one eye at a time.  Otherwise, just smile.

Maybe if we’re all lucky Kanye went back on his meds.  I say that with respect, not as sarcasm.

My grandfather told me when I was 6 not to go near the lawnmower because it would cut my foot off.  He didn’t specify any conditions such as the lawnmower had to be on or moving or cutting grass.  I grew up thinking lawnmowers were semi-sentient beings that wanted to cut feet off.  Still think you can’t be too…

I believe you that Black children are more likely to be placed in foster care than White children, and personally I think that’s likely to be caused by bias in some White social workers. Why do you think Jewish children are less likely to be placed in the foster system? Are there more relatives living locally who can…

Looking again, I think the issue is that she could go up a size or two.  Folks, the size of your clothes is not printed on the outside (unless you insist on wearing them inside out) and no one knows what size you wear.  You can go up a size or two when they don’t fit well and no one will know.  They’ll just think you…

While children are in danger and are being abused and killed and no one seems to be able to find them to get them out of the situations they’re in, you can also get people who are so impressed with their own power that they threaten to take away or actually take away children who are not in any danger. In Mercado and…

That’s why everyone went to frat parties when I was in college.  The drinking age was 21; most people were under 21.  No one carded back then.

It’s true that there’s very little progress in the attitudes of a lot of fraternities. When I was in college, in the Pleistocene Era, I had a stalker who was another student. He wrote me letters saying that I looked like his dead girlfriend. I went to the Dean. I went to Campus Security. No one would do anything. He…

Uh, lady? “We believe that all lives matter” might not have been the great rejoinder to people pointing out how racist that is that you think it is.

Arts are important.  Not as important as food, which feeds the body, but it does feed the soul.

Hey. Leave the dogs out of it. They have nothing to do with it and probably wish all the loud noise would stop so they can sleep. What kind of asshole kills dogs when they have a problem with a person? What kind of asshole kills dogs, period? Cats, gerbils, hamsters, children, etc. also included.

I’ve got a list of people to put on that rocket ship... Turtle McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Justice “I like beer” McPurjury, Justice Handmaid’s Tale, Gaetz, that gun chick whose last name begins with B, Marjorie Green, Darth Cheeto, “I’m a Nazi” Miller and his wife too... that’s only 11 including Cruz, so there’s lots…

Hey, thanks for what you do, friendly neighborhood abortion care worker!

Not the same though. Most museums have to scramble for money and beg for funds. If a rich person gave a homeless family money to live on for a year and someone stole it all from them, that wouldn’t be a bunch of laughs.

No libraries? Sorry, dude. You’re out. My ideal man loves libraries and museums and beaches. A library/museum with a pool you can jump into and a place to lie out in the sun looking at the water (and a shady spot too, I burn easily) is someplace I’d never have to leave.  

Monarchies, nothing.  I have a cousin who believes that.  There is absolutely zero point in discussing anything with him, because he will tell you God told him whatever his point of view is and just try arguing with that.

Wax lips aren’t Halloween candy! They’re everyday candy! Back in the Pleistocene Era, when I was a child, we got a dime a day to go to the candy store on the corner and candy was one cent a piece. Wax lips were in the regular rotation. We’d stick the middle piece in our mouths and pretend we were wearing red lipstick…

I’m not sure I agree with the entire theme of this article.

Yes. She said so, and you can watch her practicing and see just when the problem started. She began landing outside of the lines on vault and floor exercise — WAY outside of the lines, like completely off the landing area, not just part of one foot. Gymnasts who could tell what was happening explained slow motion…

If she hadn’t gotten the twisties and had won as many gold medals as initially predicted, she wouldn’t feel this way.  She has nothing to feel bad about.  She was healthy and ready to go before she got to the Olympics and while practicing beforehand.  It takes nothing away from her legend or legacy.  She’s still the…