The manual parking brake was also known as the emergency brake, and I’m a big fan of emergency brakes. My sister and I were visiting our grandmother in Milwaukee, and the roads were icy, and as we were going down a ramp onto a street, the car started to slide. There was someone coming, and if I couldn’t stop that car,…

New cars, I always buy red.  Used cars, I get what I get.  I’m not a huge fan of Mazdas, but that red they have could make me seriously consider it.

I don’t understand why car makers put things in cars that drivers have to think about to use. I’m driving. I don’t want to have to think about how to change the temperature. I don’t want to have to wonder where the clock is. I don’t want to figure out how to switch to recycle inside air when there’s a garbage truck in…

I loathe that song with the fire of ten thousand burning suns. I wouldn’t even call it a Christmas song. It contains the word “Christmas” once. You could substitute any two syllable word for “Christmas” and it would remain exactly as much of a Christmas song as it currently is. Last Flag Day. Last Tuesday. Last August.…

Trader Joe’s has started carrying Kringel, a large pastry from Denmark via Racine, Wisconsin, where there are several Kringel producers. My mother grew up in Racine, so I’m familiar with Kringel - my grandmother always had it cut up in the freezer, packed in layers of waxed paper in her best Tupperware. Kringel comes…

The founders of this country didn’t require air traffic controllers, and so air traffic controllers are illegal and a restraint on trade. Let planes take off and land when they want!

Lil Nas X - Honey, no. Just no.

Look at the front.  It looks like it’s smiling.  I bet that was a specific design decision.

My first car was an earlier model Volkswagen Rabbit. I haven’t had a car that was that much fun to drive since. That car would go everywhere other cars couldn’t, especially in the snow. It was a 5-gear stick, and since I was used to driving a Volkswagen Bus with a tricky second gear, a car that would go into second…

Oh god, I loathe that mofo.  He was only elected because he told people something like commies and atheists and people who believe in vaccinating themselves against covid were going to make their children read pornography, or something like that, and the good people (well, people, anyway) of Virginia were gullible…

From your keyboard to [insert your deity of choice]’s ears.

I was going to say that back then and back there (yeah, who am I kidding. It hasn’t ever stopped), you could be called a tramp for having a body that didn’t conform to societal norms, and Dolly probably didn’t.  And she didn’t dress to conform, either.  

FYI, husbands used to be able to have their wives committed on their word alone.  That was a valid threat used to control women by asshole husbands (like my father).

We hear a lot about how horrible Brad is from Angelina, discreetly phrased as “the past decade”, as though people don’t realize who she was married to, but Brad doesn’t talk about Angelina in the press. Maybe it’s because Brad is so horrible that after 7 years (where does she get 10 from? Subtraction isn’t that hard)…

These imbeciles are made up of reconstituted hypocrisy barely held together with stale fascism and racism.  If they’re not offensive at least 9 times a day, the evil spell will wear off and they’ll disappear in a cloud of bad-smelling smoke and drift off in the wind.

Prager U? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Those people are SO wrong on things that are facts accepted by sane scholars all over the world and not opinion; I can’t imagine what they’re like on matters of interpretation.

I know I’m on Jalopnik, but you need some estrogen in here. Mid-80s nice summer day mixtape: Pointer Sisters, Aretha Franklin, some Michael Jackson, Talking Heads. And then driving from Albuquerque to Denver, Linda Ronstadt and I sang her greatest hits - she sang lead, I was backup. The air was balmy, the sunroof was…

That solves that problem, doesn’t it?  If they’re not really women, then they’re men (in their worldview that doesn’t allow for anything non-binary), and men, no matter how sleazy, slimy, or pedophilic, are welcome as pastors.  Let them argue against that logic.

Would they really have to shave it, though?

And they want to expel the FEMALE pastors? I realize I’m letting logic get in the way of idiocy, but seems to me if they want to cut down on sexual immorality they’d expel the male pastors. Wait, never mind. I forgot that any sexual immorality, as they put it, is the fault of the female person involved. Even if she’s…