@queenjulie: Last time I checked, an otoscope wasn't required for "basic parenting". No need to be bitchy.

@Marla Singer: The two aren't mutually exclusive. Virgin Suicides is my favorite book of all time, but I still enjoyed the Twilight series for what it was - fun escapism.

@all: Ahh, timing. My mom just called to lecture me about my ticking clock. She informed me that I was "thinking too much" about the whole baby thing! I can't remember a single time before when that's been a bad thing in her mind...

@Leucadia: Well said.

What a poignant quote about Alexa Ray Joel! I've always felt bad for her - the media compares her to her perky Barbie mom, while she clearly takes after her more troubled father. Poor thing. I hope she's doing better - she's incredibly talented.

Why is it that people are encouraged to think through every major decision in detail - marriage, college, career, etc - except having a child? I can't tell you the number of people who tell me that I'm being too analytical and that no one is ever ready for a baby. Why is the decision to have a child supposed to be…

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: Somehow, it just seems right Weird Al should be a member of Jezebel :)

@itsonreserve: Same goes for drunk stories. I get so sick of hearing people go on and on about how wasted they were last weekend, and all the "cool" things they did.

@Highsmith: I don't judge her for that at all. She was held in an Italian prison, questioned for days, and encouraged to "confess". Studies have shown that people will often come up with false memories of a crime in situations like this. Not to mention that Italian isn't her first language.

@SUNNY1: Ooh, I like the way you think! All the crazy conservatives will be gone, leaving the fun people!

@gracie1117: For me, it was the Boxer...yum...

@rowingrowingrowing: Thank you!! She makes me insane and violent. When I see people with bumper stickers supporting her, it's all I can do not to roll my window down and scream at them. I flip them off instead, which is a poor substitute. Or I get in front of them so they can see my "Pro Woman, Anti Palin" sticker.

@curiousgeorgiana: Although I read that there's a conservative movement to rewrite the Bible - apparently, the old translations are too liberal (bible scholars = professors = crazy liberal elite). So really, Palin is just following her new Real America Bible.

@Working-for-the-weekend: Yeah, I'm basically the same size as I was then. But I would NEVER hold that up as an ideal weight goal, much less as a promotional slogan for a weight loss drug.

@PaintedTrollop: Oh, god, that sounds amazing. I bet Meryl would share some juicy gossip after a few martinis. And then we'd sing show tunes. Heaven.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Did you know that she was on more episodes than anyone else? More than Bartlett, Josh, Leo, Toby - anyone. What a badass female role model!!

1. I covet those celadon retro heels. However, I do not think they will match my ever-present sweatpants.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Holy crap, I just read your script and AM COMPLETELY IN AWE OF YOU.

@larnen: I think she was talking about Fayetteville, NC - that would make sense weather-wise.

@Marla Singer: Ooh, I know! This was a tough one for me - I agree with her sentiment, but Diablo herself is a walking cliche.