“Assjacket.”

All of this is terrifyingly accurate, lmao.

Ha HA! +1 Internets to you for making me chuckle loudly and confuse everyone around me.

Fun fact, those padlocks are how we secure the equipment that doesn’t usually leave the vehicle. Because Marines steal everything that isn’t bolted down. And even then, they still manage it sometimes.

Accurate! Because no matter how much the jurors say they were not exposed to anything and that they can remain fair and impartial...we know it’s hard to stay away from high profile cases like that. You would have to be a shut in.

“I still believe in the principle of innocent until proven guilty.”

“Gunshots can be awfully hard to locate, especially in an urban environment with lots of echoey buildings.”

Accurate statement is accurate. I witnessed a nasty accident, pulled over and sprinted over to help because there was screaming. Three witnesses told the officers I was the driver of the other vehicle involved. You would think it would be hard to confuse the 6'1", male, camouflaged blur sprinting down the sidewalk and…

Take my star damn you!

I spat fizzy drink I laughed so hard.  Well played sir.  Well played indeed.

Only when the girlfriend tries to slip a finger in my ass. Do. Not. Want.

Offended much?  Get over it.

But how else will I compensate for my woefully inadequate penis size?

#TeamMoist

Eh, I’ll trade you my sandwich.

Right? I would expect a little less misdirection about propane and propane accesories from...Torch...

Preface: What follows is not commentary on the article, but commentary on the commentary. The guy who wrote his little paper is clearly an idiot.

Kristen, my dear, that is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. So just...thank you.

You win. Leo is awesome!

Speaking of fun stories...had a fresh butter bar straight out of West Point show up to Ft Campbell in one of these. I imagine you can figure out how that went over.