a little louder for the dumb fucks in Nebraska, please

I’m laughing at you running/laughing after. You had to have been shook.

Hillary would’ve been shot by a firing squad, with the firing squad consisting of Lindsey, Trey and Mitch.

Is Lindsey seriously this scared about being outed? WE KNOW, Lindsey. C’mon out, freedom is funnnnn.

I like to think I’d be sitting there with my fists under my chin smiling stupidly at her all the time, and she’d smack the smile off my face and ask me what I’ve done to advance women’s rights today.

Time to stop with the Chuck Norris stories. Let’s start some RBG stories.

Have the hard conversations because ignoring them has gotten us here? I am the director of a nonprofit though, so this sort of thing is what I do every day. I have to have hope that things will change, otherwise I wouldn’t do this work. Never know who/when you’ll reach someone.

Didn’t he hook up with Angelina whilst married to Jen, on Mr & Mrs Smith? 

damn! yeah maybe he hasn’t. WAIT! Inglorious Bastards! 

Interview with a Vampire! At least I hope not, cuz Kirsten was a bebe at that time.

I forgot to thank you for bringing ‘shit kittens’ into my lexicon. 

You sound like my parents. They just leave a pot of chili on the stove all weekend, heat it up, eat it, it sits there, heat it up, eat it...when I finally was like ‘YOU GUYS! You can’t do this!’ because I was an Applebee’s server and I know my stuff, my dad said ‘the tomatoes have acid it’s fine’ and my mom just…

Politicians work for people who vote. That’s it. 

You know why Dems don’t adhere to issues the way you want them to? You know why candidates don’t work on the issues that you want them to? BECAUSE YOU DON’T FUCKING VOTE. They cater their attention and work to the people who are proven to vote, because they want to be in office.

So you’re saying you don’t have the best people? 

Coloradan here too - there are also drop off ballot boxes all over the place. 

I slept with my ex after nearly two years, when our cat died. It’s hot foreplay, I tell you. I honestly wish we could just have sex with each other without a relationship. I don’t think I need a relationship with anyone, I like flyin’ solo for the most part. IF I could have really amazing sex with someone who knows…

I bought a fuck-ton when you made the announcement last week, just in case. The hyaluronic acid is the only thing that has made my jawline acne go away. 

I enjoy through a friend knowledge that this guy is exactly who he tells us he is with tantrums like this, and worse.

KAMALA!