Bob, that was exactly the smile and sinister giggle I needed right now. The imagery. The bright tear-streaked eyes and tight smile and pretending everything is alright, magnifique.

But at least she’s trying, right? At least she’s using her influence for something worthwhile and positive.

This story is made all the better by me being really high right now

Perfect, I’m just about to re-up. Happy buzz to you!

yes, join me

Let’s go build a commune in Mexico

Merriam-Webster, I love you. Pete Souza, equally love.

Wow, it really is all one piece glued atop his dome. You can see the split between real hair and fake hair, fascinating.

Tell me how to drink without dumping ice or smoothie on my face. I’m serious, I don’t want to use straws anymore but I’m such a klutz.

these KIDS. these fuckin’ kids. this generation is fucking grabbing the baton and sprinting like hell. I’m so so so here for it.

ALEXA, BUY BOBBY THE MOST HILARIOUS PIECE OF OUTERWEAR FOR SALE ON AMAZON

Betsy would just be that bitchy PTA mom from Nowhere, Michigan.

What is this show?!

James Comey can suck it, and keep sucking it.

I have friends who text me pictures of these trees saying ‘miss you’ because all we do in the spring is talk about these trees.

Where does feminist theory state that we must blindly support each other because ovaries? That’s not what it issssss, KELLYANNE.

Jared and Ivanka’s. I want proof that they are robots.

Right?! Fuck OFF, journalists. Do your fucking jobs. Go to Flint. Go to Birmingham. Go to West Virginia. You created this monster and you profit off of this mess. When someone calls you out on it, you don’t get to whine.

THANK YOU, Kumail. Truer words...

Your comment is so poignant my eyes welled up and air left me.