This is what happens when you put a political consultant in charge of the opioid crisis.

Correct. That was not the question that was asked. And there are degrees of shitty. I also think Amazon and Bezos suck, in particular.

Stop it. Just let us have a morning of glee before the hammer of doom.

You just made my eyes get real big and my face smile from ear to ear.

SO much. So much. The pillaging of rural America, the slave wages they pay their employees thus ensuring their employees need two jobs or gov’t assistance or both, the mass amounts of shitty shit they hawk from poor countries who pay their factory workers even less...there’s more.

Of COURSE he does. Fuckin’ fuckface.

We do tend to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory...

Yeah, I was bummed for her too. Dudes are shitty, most of the time. I can be sad for both women.

I legit said ‘nooooo’ in my head for Khloe.

A 25 yr old coworker of mine is obsessed with DMB and also tried to talk me into using eBay. These two things are only related if she’s a fuckin’ time traveler because whaaaat. How. Maybe she’s actually 45?

Trump TV is this presidency

Robin & Sean’s kid was arrested about 25 miles from where I grew up. Is this what famous feels like?

sick burn!

This is amazing. I left MY husband and all I kept was the VitaMix! MEGHAN, babe, you and me are likethis.

MANNNNNN. They were so freaking cute. I liked how every costar of his tried fucking him and they said he was too into his wife. Le sigh.

As the unicorn can I say...discuss boundaries with the third person is uber important. I somehow ended up in a locked bathroom with just the guy at one point, feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

ASHLEY! This article is so fucking good! Thank you!

We better have all the sex before these details come out. Our national libido is about to be crushed.

Nah, they all look like Jared. They even have chins and stuff.

Thank youuuuuu! It’s not quite a relationship yet, but our next date is watching the 60 Minutes Stormy Daniels interview. Ahahaha...