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Fiorina is worse. Because she actually sounds like she knows what she’s talking about. It’s not about what you say so much as how you say it, and she spoke with clarity and authority. Even though she was lying. Bachmann always sounded like your alcoholic crazy neighbor lady.

Who am I? I’m the fahkin’ Sunfish, you must be the othah’ guy.

Hey Sunfish! Say hi to ya motha for me!

Holy shit Jay!

I officially lost it at “IT’S GOTTA BE A TUNER OR SOMETHIN BRO.” Who knew, back when I was living by Fenway fahkin’ Pahk and hating all the drunk Sox fans pissing on my stoop, that I’d come to miss and love Massachusetts accents so much once I’d left Boston???

I’m in love. “We gotta call the aquarium or something.”

Coming this fall to a television near you: Bros Discover Things

Kroll is a billionaire?

As much as I like Jon Hamm, I’m wondering why you hate Amy Pohler.

It would weird me out if I was at an event and someone came up to me and said, “Hey! You are so-and-so’s friend on Facebook and I thought you look really cool so I came to this event to meet you!” I would be like, “Get away from me!” But if they just struck up a conversation with me and after we hit it off and fell

Why? Because our lives are mundane drudgery and all of us want something, no matter how brief and stupid, that is magical and special to happen to us. No one gets an owl at age 11, no one follows a white rabbit down a hole. We sustain ourselves with fictions because reality is mostly an awful, cold place where you

Selling my clothes drunk on HSN is my dream job.

Orange>Strawberry>Cherry>A punch in the gut> Lemon

Every genuinely stupid person I’ve ever known supported Republican ideas/platforms. Sure, not all Republicans are dumb, but their party really, really appeals to those who are.

Not even a liveblog?

“Trump rally tonight! Who’s in??”

A video of students barricading themselves ....?