Dear Hollywood: you can stop making movies about hit people now. You can also stop having the inciting plot point being their refusal to hit a kid. Sincerely, a weary nation.

Let me save people some time. Here is what this shitbait video is:

That’s not what centrism is?

The film is allegedly titled The Flash, so I submit it would properly be “the The Flash actor”.

Neither is picking up on sarcasm.

WB Exec: It turns out that due to time travel shenanigans, The Flash movie was actually released 15 years ago, and it has subsequently been locked in the Disney Vault.

What, a penal colony on our NICEST islands?

BUhhhh why do you use “they” to refer to a singular person! I’m so confused! I can’t figure out a single thing in this article! Is it even in English?! 

“and feels more disappointing after two years of anticipation for its release.” Serious question, was ANYONE anticipating this one? Like, if by anticipation you mean that people were aware it had been delayed and mildly curious when it would manage to get a full release, sure. But anticipating it? Excited to watch it?…

Low stakes! Long in the tooth! Bloodless performances! Just plain Vlad! Let the wrong one in! Plot twists that come from far left Renfield! Umm... too much Valium, not enough Allium?

Also this is absolutely what friends are for, one of my friends and I have been springing bad impromptu renditions of Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights” on another friend for going on 25 years now.

. . . [H]eadline ruined the bit . . .

The spoiler is literally in the thumbnail of the clip that the podcast themselves uploaded.

I was wondering what the deal with that was. Are they saying he’s just shape shifted again like he was colin farrell in the first one? Also what a huge trade off, to go from Colin Farrell is the bad guy to Johnny Depp is actually the bad guy. But Mads is an improvement I guess. 

No, he just insisted that everyone else move in slow motion.

Miller “was allegedly yelling obscenities” and “became agitated when people began singing karaoke.”

Funny how the insecure dudes who call everyone else “soft” are the first to get physical when they’re disrespected or mocked. All jokes are not the same; there’s a reason bullies ridicule people and it’s not because they’re comedy enthusiasts.

Talk shit, get hit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think it was in poor taste to make a joke about her alopecia on national tv with her sitting a few yards away. 

I’ll miss the daily What’s On, but I’m glad at least something in this lane is back!