Halloween isn’t really ABOUT Halloween, nor is it particularly a subversion of the cultural understanding of Halloween. Now Halloween 3 certainly is...

Dear JC:

A good story? Sure. The best? No. That title belongs to another.

I’m Dreaming of a Wight Christmas
Jingle Hells
Up on the Rooftop, Down in the Grave
Bloody, Cold Saint Nicholas
Down Through the Abdomen, Stab Stab Stab

Every holiday season there’s a flurry of ultra-violent ironic horror movies about Christmas. And you know how much staying power they have? The same amount as any other holiday movie. If your film is linked up to a seasonal event, that’s a dead giveaway you haven’t made a film that can stand on its own.

It has big late 90s comic edginess energy, you know? Like what if Winnie the Pooh, but it’s TWISTED and everything is SPELLED WRONG and there’s BLOOD and GUTS! I guess it could be a graphic novel published by Verotik or Slave Labor Graphics: TWIZTED THE POOP: HUNDRED AKRE SLAUGHTER!

If there’s only 1 seat, where will the lot lizards sit

FTX needs to hold on as a legal entity JUST long enough to ride out this contract, because that will be bad for Riot, and I hate them and want them to suffer

He might, he has a pretty bad breeder kink. Does Royal Bigness have a functional uterus? Might be worth a shot.

I mean, nobody is obligating you to read them.

I was on the fence, but the good run-in mileage and nice interior kind of sell it for me? Like, if this were one of those fancy German cars that explode after a year it already would have, and that’s a nice looking place to sit for sub 10k. Sure you’re basically buying a vehicle with the performance and aesthetics of…

Hear me out:

DID YOU KNOW? Unlike the modern elephant or mammoth who consume leaf material, mastadons primarily fed on wood, typically sprouting branches from small trees!

The real question is whether Elon wanted to tank Twitter from the get-go, or he’s just that bad at running a business personally? I mean he can be both, it just comes down to intention.

It’s interesting. People will pay hundreds for a version of the game that comes with a bunch of dumb merch, but as soon as you just sell the merch, everyone is all “oh man not worth it, this merch sucks.”

Citizen Kane is a snoozefest ripoff of William Randolph Hearst’s life

“Guys, I know everyone is down on redlining now, but hear me out: what if we did MORE REDLINING?”

‘Oomies say Jeff Bozos is da richest humie! But ‘e ain’t even got da teef for a hair squig! How rich can he be? An’ Am’zons is s’pposed ta be real tuff humie girls, but dis one’s a gob a’ tek that lazy ‘umies use ta’ spend their teef on bits an bobs. Ain’t no way dis show’s gonna be a proper WAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

These new factories are gonna be making the cybertruck, right? I was told that was coming really soon!

That’s just the waardenburg syndrome, it makes your head that shape provided it doesn’t grossly disfigure you.