The real question is, can I make love to Daisy Duck in a hot tub

Having a ton of money and dressing your whole family in awful designer shabby chic because you want suburban housewives to aspire to buy your merch and watch your shows and you have no actual sense of style isn’t an aesthetic.

It’s absolutely tiny. Itsy-bitsy. Wee, even. Super weird how much effort went into the base game to follow it up with... Like 5 new Chaos arenas? And then you shoot a fish? That’s basically it. I COULD ALREADY SHOOT FISH, RANDY

Someone try and plant the idea for a lesbian roller-disco Sonic the Hedgehog musical at Sega, we can make this happen.

Man I can’t wait to play a remixed Diablo III with worse graphics and a ton of paywalls whoopee

Or Tesla

Wait

Salton Sea Beach only has 261 inhabitants. The lake itself is horribly toxic, having spent decades obsorbing agricultural waste and chemical runoff, and as it has shrunk it has left behind vast poisonous mud flats. Crime in the area is hugely above the national average which makes sense when you consider the almost…

So what you’re saying is now is the time for neo-militarism

Stranger Things has two big problems: 2 seasons of it ate sh*t on Covid which probably cost a fortune in location and equipment costs, and its cast got famous. Between 2016 and now:

I am a naughty little lad, where are my Badtz Maru shoes?

It’s pretty wild how the TMNT beat-em-ups kind of spawned their own aesthetic distinct from both the cartoons and comics of the time and from other Konami games. There’s like this instantly recognizable feel to them that you don’t get with anything else in the franchise.

I’d never want to drive this, but for a small shop conversion kit, it’s amazingly good work. To the person who actually wants this, i’m sure it’s worth buying for the shell alone.

I feel lame just THINKING this, but like, this is the first Borderlands I’m okay with my kids playing. So that’s pretty cool to me. Fights are still plenty flashy. It took me 2 or 3 encounters with humans before it even registered “hey, where are all the severed heads?”

You know what I want? I want the Game Gear games, rebuilt using 16-bit styled assets and the remaster engine. I always wanted to like those, but the glitchy physics and shreddy over-zoomed graphics made it haaaaaaaard.

IMO the season passes for 1-3 were very worth it. The total DLC for 2, in particular, ends up being about twice the size of the original game. Pre-Sequel had pretty underwhelming DLC.

There is nothing more manly then lining up with your bros at the ball-lasering station and enjoying the feeling of infrared beams scorching your naked bodies

If Tucker had any brains he’d propose that the solution to America’s waning masculinity is daily consumption of hearty Swanson’s TV dinners. Donald Trump didn’t do much right, but he knew enough to abuse his influence for HUSTLE.

TOO MUCH SOY NEED BALL LASERS