Wow. It’s like what I imagine a camel giving birth as replayed by Roseanne Barr would sound like.

Will miss you terribly, Garry.

Yeah, this Meek will not inherit the earth.

White.

Wait, Jim bob will actually speak with a woman he's not related to?

He’s actually pretty svelte for a Pennsylvanian.

Is this an ad for Vineyard Vines?

I was like, what, no Summer’s Eve? And sure enough.

Cougar!

I have at times flipped my ticket.

I have the biggest boner right now.

The series of "no"s was the best. The best, Jerry.

TL;DR — was this article about me?

Ugly Duckling Bypasses The Princess Stage Becomes Ugly Swan

Jeebus, could her mouth be any bigger?

Duh. We need all that for the RedDawn re-reboot.

Mental illness?

We've secretly replaced Renata's wine spritzer with Bacardi 151. Let's see if she'll notice.

Assholes pull the shade up when it's sleepy time.