She saved Wilbur’s life with her clever webs and died alone at the fair.

Meanwhile, Janet Jackson is sitting at home, going “Oh, I see.”

I’ve never understood how people can think immigrants take jobs without Americans willing to give them away for the sake of a few dollars more. If the consequences of hiring undocumented workers was prison and bankruptcy for the owner there would be a lot of changes.

He said this in front of a bipartisan group of congressional leaders. Which proves not only that he’s racist, but he is a fucking moron who may be losing what little mind he once had.

Whenever I read the news now, I feel as though everything is fake. Not fake in a #fakenews sort of way, but fake in an “I’m surely in a coma and these are all my fevered delusions” sort of way. If that’s truly the case, my subconscious is a cruel, cruel bastard.

Yeah right. I’ve seen you deliver the crooks wrapped in webs to the cops but I’ve never see you deliver the bags of money with dollar signs on them.

What you do is, see, you give Kodak all your credit card numbers, and if one of them is lucky, they’ll send you a prize!

I’m actually worth over 9.4 trillion Spider-Bits which, as of 14 minutes ago, roughly translates into $34. Thankfully, my landlord accepts Spider-Bits, which is how I’m able to afford my New York apartment.

Coming soon...Kinjacoin!

filmed in a cardboard box outside the principal’s office

bring in the remaining living members of Gilligan’s Island

Historical Dharma spin-off set in the 70s, or modern day series featuring Dharma engaging in pseudoscientific shenanigans?

No. FUCK no.

Would the sequel just be called Found?

Man, I saw REM once. It was on the Deep State tour back in ‘91 at the old Athens civic center.

I thought Deep State was the sleep stage immediately following REM...

Deep State is responsible for this... This is all part of Deep State’s nefarious plans...

I thought he had already stepped down from his WH post to spend more time sucking his own cock. What is he gonna do now?