“Finally, we get what we want,” Ovechkin continued.

Swap Machado for J.D. Martinez. Or swap one of the NL guys for J.D. Martinez for the hell of it. Not Albies though, because it would be really amusing to see someone his size win.

Most of that subset works for TSN.

Byfuglien is always fun to watch, because he’s basically a defensive end playing hockey. They had him skate in the fastest skater competition a few years back, even!

Contreras is on absolute fire right now—he hasn’t struck out at all during the spree...

From the posted tweet:

Fedorov’s media reputation would have come more from his late ‘90s holdout and claiming that he was married to Anna Kournikova. He was never really criticized for his play, since he was tenacious in his own zone (even being used as a defenseman when the Wings had injury woes).

Dr. Narwhals Mating is a pretty strong competitor. Not nearly as good as Salami Blessing, but pretty close.

Woof, I didn’t know the extent to how bad it was. Despite living in Southwestern Ontario for most of my life, and in Toronto now, never grew up a Leafs fan, so I didn’t get the fans’ view of it.

For a while (and maybe still), they had significant shares of the Toronto Maple Leafs. That’s basically the sports equivalent of Ubisoft.

This sounds like a plot straight out of The Simps...

I mean... there’s always the NDP, right?

I’m still not used to Mrazek in a Flyers jersey. It’s for the best for Petr, but I still miss him.

This was more of a commentary of how ass-backwards London is. He’s probably had to deal with a load of racist bullshit growing up too.

They got rid of the seals, I can insult Storybook Gardens all I want.

This makes Kadri instantly the most educated person to come from London, ON.

Be nice to him, refs. He’s only going through puberty, he isn’t used to the feeling of high sticks.

This is pretty much the Andrew Scheer 2020 ticket to a tee.

Even more amazing that he didn’t finish last!