I don't know. If I'm a cop and someone tells me a gang of street urchins and their 3 legged dog did it, I'm all in. No one pulls the street urchins card anymore.

It's a golfer, not a pro athlete.

I blame this entire "Why do you need FREE birth control" mess on the fact that we have taught Americans to believe marketing like "Free corn muffins with this crappy buffet you are paying for." I'm betting the crossover is pretty wide.

Whenever I go to Whole Foods I always buy a box of frozen mozzarella sticks because I mean they came from Whole Foods, they must be healthy right? Right???

Not in my world. Abomination, all of them. Unless it's guacamole.

Fried goat cheese is SO DELICIOUS.

I love this.

For me, the best part is being able to check out library books instantly and having them returned automatically. I love that.

No. Just....No.

The Kindle (Or E-Readers in general)

Any Hercules butt <<<<< Hawaiian "Conan" butt.

Where is the cutoff for Ocean City vs Outer Banks? I lived in Baltimore for a bit, then moved down to Fairfax and there was definitely a separation between those who went to OC vs OBX (and why the fuck is that the abbreviation?). Seemed more Fairfax kids headed to the Outer Banks, but most of them also had bundles of…

I was driving my daughter, who was 2.5 at the time, home from school on a snowy day. Thinking she'd get a kick out of me sliding the car around, we drifted around the corner. From the back I heard "Oooooh fuck." Then a short pause, and "Jesus!"

"And it often leads to male pregnancy, which leads to male delivery. And the people giving birth to feces-covered babies.."

Catanzaro: [Negotiates Log Grip]
Catanzaro: [Handles Salmon Ladder]
Catanzaro: [Scales Warped Wall]
Color Guy: Catanzaro is killing it so far. KILLING it!
Play-By-Play Guy: But here's where it gets tricky.
Catanzaro: [Jumps over Slow and Low]
Catanzaro: [Dodges Hawaiian Punch]
Catanzaro: [Finishes Chicken Fingers With Deadly…

Come on, no one else is getting a little antsy at all these celebrating Germans?

"My grandfather is a priest" WHAT WHAT WHAT. THAT MAKES NO SENSE. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. MAYBE HE WAS A PRIEST BUT HE SURE AIN'T ONE NOW.

"Dude, we only allowed Germany one goal, that means America is, like, seven times better in soccer than Brazil!"

You admit that they were strange. So I guess I should have said MOST babies...

Nope. Sorry, they were terrible.