When I have proteinuria my urine looks opalescent/sparkly. When I hemorrhaged from the kidneys, it looked like cola. When I have UTI's, you can collect your urine in a clear container to take your specimen to the lab, and after about an hour, look at all the white blood cells that make up the sediment at the bottom.…

Oddly, I just made this last night and it was great! I used an apple I've never used before, and I wasn't crazy about it. I don't recall which ones they were, but they must be some kind of D-list apples. I also broke my corer I've had for 20 years off in one of my apples. You HAVE to use a corer. I mean it. It's like…

When I first started wearing contact lenses, they only had the hard ones that you had to gradually work up to wearing. It's like you could wear them an hour the first week, then slowly work up, week by week, to wearing them all day. You never forgot you had them in. A corneal abrasion? OMG, I had one so bad I remember…

That's pretty. I wonder if there's a contact lens that looks like that?

But you're so much *prettier* when you smile. Ugh.

Hey, will you grab me a beer out of the 'fridge on your way to kill DerpHerin? Thanks, hon.

We can't take you anywhere with your big mouth. ;-)

My husband is the only other human being in this world that doesn't like it. He says it's "too dark", but I attribute it to being last to the party and hating to acquiesce to his entire family saying, "You HAVE to watch this, it's so great!" He'll be damned to admit he missed something so good out of pure orneriness.

Thanks! I needed a "pep talk"! Seriously.

Yeah, but it feels dirty somehow. I feel like I'm selling out. I just have to remind myself that my kids have to eat too. Nothing I say would change her feelings at this point, and it's not like I feed into them. Still sucks.

I do a variation of this. I have an old high school era friend, and she gets drunk at night, most every night, as best as I can tell. She knows I'm agnostic, yet she showers me with Bible shit, she send horribly racist emails and tea-party crap out the ya-ya. I NEVER respond to any, and that has been for years. I do…

On one hand this feels like rubbing salt into the wound, but then I realize I cried because I miss him so already.

Who is Kanye cheating with and of course, when are they going to divorce?

An Aristocrat!

My daughter worked for Ancient Maritime, and they didn't pin. They tucked here and there, but rarely pinned.

My husband was a carpenter back in the day, and I implored him to use ear protection while using power saws, and other loud tools. The sound literally hurt my ears and he was working with them about 50 hours a week. Well, apparently, *real men* don't do sissy stuff like protect the ears. I told him he'll feel really…

Now all I can think of is the spider.

There is a flaw in your logic. Think of these on the typical WalMart shopper. It would probably be a man with a beard and grey ponytail with rainbow socks and crocs.

I give it a finger too. It's curled over the top of a fork, unfortunately.