This just in: human beings fixating on a woman’s famously gigantic breasts.

Exactly. Talk about a dumb take. Anyone who actually watched Mad Men would realise that hot take couldn’t be further from the truth. And if any dude who watched it took away that Don was some kind of hero, that would just tell me that particular dude isn’t very bright.

“So you think your degree makes you more educated?” asked Luann. “That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard somebody say.”

I watched a documentary where an AI gave us back Blockbuster Video and a forty-ish Samuel L. Jackson. Also, Brie Larson punched a space ship.

Yeah that isn’t an ass made by god, it’s a science ass

What, like the elbow?

lol just watch real porn. 

Fucking. INFURIATING.

As a great admirer of the Smiths and his early solo work, I take no pleasure in saying that yes, Morrissey has demonstrated time and again that he is a racist prick and he deserves to be shunned. Unlike Ellie Kemper, you hacks.

When I was downsized, my aunt (who remains dead-to-me) told me I should have selected a better career.

Nah, bruh. I send them my 79 cents a month.

They never showed it, but Scrooge McDuck definitely masturbated in that vault. There’s no way that he didn’t.

So, while it might look funny, that guy is probably stressed to the absolute max.

Always laugh when companies do this. “We can’t afford to hire any more staff. Therefore we’ll pay overtime on the current staff, effectively paying you the wages of multiple more workers.”

How many have fallen for it? Were are you burying the bodies?

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I extend a barbaric yawp to all the karens out there.

Jeff Bezos is watching this video on loop while he dry humps a pile of money.

In my neighborhood this would be grounds for Karen to call the police. She’s got them on her speed dial. 

If I’m home when they come I offer to let them use the bathroom