Ex?? Did you see his “special”? Did that look like an "ex" crackhead to you?

LOL...with a much simpler vocabulary, that’s basically how my parents got asked not to bring me back to the First Baptist when I was nine. :) 

Hahahaaaaaa she’s the Columbus of ska music! Amazing. In her mind ska only started when while people got into it.

“I’ve been around forever. I started my band because we were really influenced by ska, which was a movement that happened in the late ‘70s, and it was really all about people coming together.”

Gwen is terrified to grow up. Literally wearing the same clothes and same look and sound from 25 years ago and simpering next to her “aw shucks, trucks” fiancé. Critically appraising her past choices is impossible as it’s threatening to her frozen sense of self. I don’t know what scared this woman who had everything…

I am a white woman and I want to crawl into a cave right now. Um, Gwen, honey, sweetie, I am right around your same age, and this has NOTHING to do with “a time that had different rules”.

Or you’re calling them a loser in the 90's.

Yup - last time I tried going to church a chance, I was uninvited for asking too many questions or saying too many things like “but that’s now how I interpret it” or “you should probably not quote that verse out of context, otherwise the original intent behind that statement is lost.”

Shhhhh. You’re gonna ruin the Darwin Awards and keep these idiots in the gene pool.

TIL: There’s a “universal shark sign.”

Yes, we get it. The goddamned shark is white and that makes it great.
Ain’t got no black shark! Where the black shark at?!

So like old school hockey. You take a swipe at Gretzky, Semenko put your face in the boards.

Keep clicking on the things you don't like. That'll fix it.

It’s not tolerated at a party thrown by their party. Sometimes you just want to sip some lobster bisque without a wealthy ex-crackhead shouting conspiracy theories at you.

Politics is part of the culture.

Here’s what annoys me: she did a five session anti-racist class as part of avoiding criminal charges.

I’m fine with the player getting to designate a champion in that case, and in the teams’ rosters being expanded by one in order to carry such a person at all times.

Don’t forget the religious element in Texas (and lots of other places). Critical thinkers make for lousy worshippers. People who don’t ask questions and just throw money in the offering plate are what we want here.

Oh my GOD. Really? That’s really part of a platform? To ban critical thinking skills? 

Reality overtook parody at some point in the aughts.