Excuse me, allow me to deploy the Totally Correct Take Bell here...one moment, this motherfucker is heavy...

I keep reading shit on WaPo and Atlantic that claims he is “handsome” and “charismatic” as well as a “rising star” amongst the GOP. He looks like a fucking mutant crafted by an alien who had only heard of mankind by rough description, and even the GOP by most accounts can’t wait to be rid of him.

“I’m Ernest Hemingway and now I am going to eat this cat.”

Is this...is this hope?

Mother wouldn’t approve.

“He is the bark of the nation” is excellent, and I am now much pleased.

Primal should have had co-op!

Oh, that reminds me that I have to have this Chromatica prescription refilled, especially going into the weekend.

Oh! Now I am looking forward to the inevitable “Press ‘E’ to NARD Cheney” controversy.

The fact that the actual father isn’t on CNN or somewhere hollering about the sheer fuckery of this whole situition means that payout was VERY LARGE indeed.

The pair of you mad bastards delight me.

Oh, like you could resist some frothy coitus after a hot and bothered political conversation with such magnificent hunks of MAGA meat?!

As someone who has whiled away far too many hours in Dwarf Fortress, I would offer the Atom Smasher as a solution.

It is actually a crime in most civilized nations to NOT have a mistress while serving as a head of state.

I am now profoundly invested in the story of Vampire Barnabas and the Werewolf Hand, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

This is kind of like the Watcher’s Council not paying their Slayer a stipend and, instead, allowing her to work at a fast food job for low wages while she was battling evil on the nightly.

“Famous for reasons that no one living can remember” checks out, said Ozzy when asked about his ex-wife.

I’ve often wondered about that type of thinking.

To be fair, anecdotal experience has confirmed that most human beings are ignorant dildos whether or not they are operating a motor vehicle.

I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT